This post may offend some of you who’ve already sent me a pretty little handwritten note thanking me for the lovely wine glasses I bought or noting how touching it was for me to select a serving of your China pattern… but, that’s tough. Just be happy that I showed up, handed over my hard earned cash turned Crate and Barrel item and didn’t cause a scene… but this has to be said:

I hate the concept of the wedding shower and slghtly less I dislike the concept of baby showers. I need to qualify the “baby shower thing” to say that if it’s your first kid, there are often things you don’t have or didn’t know you needed that a baby shower can provide so if you’re clueless ask people to come over with their favorite toy or piece of advice, but I am against registering for the birth of a child across the board – unless you are poor. If you have a modest income and are planning to bring a life into this world, do just that – PLAN. Save some money, purchase things yourself over time and stop expecting me to show up and foot the bill. If I give you a present to celebrate a birth – let that be on my time and something I choose, not on a date you (or your mother) pick surrounded by people I don’t know.

However, right now I’m going to focus on why I think wedding showers should be erradicated from my life:

According to one source I looked at, the bridal shower came about at the time dowries were prevalent. If a woman did not have a dowry, generally because her father did not approve of the marriage, her bridesmaides would throw her a bridal shower. I’m all for this. If your dad isn’t putting up the dowry your husband is demanding, I will consider it appropriate to accept gifts to get you started on the right foot…

HOWEVER, most of the showers I’ve been to lately have been given by the bride’s mother. The goal is to get as much loot as possible and to show off the bride to her mother’s friends.

IF you live at home and when you move in with your husband it will be the first time you have had your own house, I think a little something to get your house in order might help you out… I’m willing. But having a 4 hour event where we come over eat crazy amounts of food (often catered at ridiculous expense) and watch you open piles and piles of gifts – not cutting any ribbons – I find it so backwards. If your mother gave you the $500-$1000 it cost for the shower, you could get the vacumm, microwave and whatever essentials you need to start off right… perhaps a ‘fridge even?

Why make me spend 4-6 hours inside on a Sunday (generally on the nicest day in June) watching you and pretending I’m happy to be there? “OHhhhh, your spaghetti server you wanted. How lucky.”

Some of the issue here might be that I’m going to be 33 in a month and I have been to more showers than I care to count. I’m starting to come up on people’s second bridal showers after that marriage that didn’t work out. Why do I have to keep dishing out because you decided to consolidate your finances?

Why do you who sometimes make more than me and my friends expect us to show up and bring you the crap you yourself picked out???

I will not be having a wedding shower when and if I get married, so in the meantime you can send gifts to me that you would have brought on this day. I will have my registries available online shortly…